Pearl is a survivor (and learning to be thriver and joy based) of sexual (and other) abuses throughout her childhood that began while she was still in diapers. She was essentially sex trafficked for several years from the age of 3 or 4 years old and was also forced to participate in child sexually abusive material during that era. Following is her bio in 7 stanzas.
Picking Up the Pieces / Unchained
Staring into darkness, watching shadows fall,
empty heartbeats echo down the dark and endless hall.
Starry dreams are crumbling, crashing quietly to the ground,
only to be trampled on then yearning to be found.
Fractured psyche, broken trust, leaving only fear,
Shredded heart, silent screams, crying without tears.
All the times, all the lies, all the damned illusions –
‘Loving’ people cast my chains with all their damn perversions.
Where’d it start? Who can tell? Does it really matter?
The time has passed, it’s moving on, having left the tatters.
And now’s it’s time to let it go, drop it to the floor;
Do what it takes to stop the bleed, blocking out the core.
So dark descends and night has come to take me in it’s folds,
And deep inside now I know there’s nothing left to hold.
That one way mirror finally cracked, a million tiny pieces
Perhaps in time, a two way mirror may rise from all the pieces.
In time came marriage masquerading as love,
for his dysfunction called to my self-loathing.
And when God’s whisper became greater than the threats,
I let Him lead me out. It was time to mend.
Been picking up the pieces with much hope, tumult and doubt
Just trying to figure out how to make it all count.
Mosaics have beauty when they’re put together right
and Stained glass glows gently if it forgives the night.
Years go by and hell still lingers, imprinted in my mind,
but something greater has displaced its stature and I find,
Faith holds on ‘til Grace declares: “They will NOT win, I prevail”.
Their chains are breaking because I’m learning, I AM worthy. LOVE prevails.
I can’t thank You enough, Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
